i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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