new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
