She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
