I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
