Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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