I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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