nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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