Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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