so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
