I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
