I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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