just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I cannot find my penis.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize