Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize