I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
