my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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