help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
