community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize