We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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