no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
