I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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