Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
