sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
