Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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