We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
