My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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