cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
