I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
