I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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