My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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