I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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