just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize