And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
