but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I can text with my tongue
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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