I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
