Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
