im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
