Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize