I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
