Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
