i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
