Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
