Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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