Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize