there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
