He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
