yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
