There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
handjob tips. give me some.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize