It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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