If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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