Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
