if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
