How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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