I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
