He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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