You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She is in my trunk
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
