fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
