david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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