I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
