And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
