weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
